Chapter 7

Happy New Year. 

Okay just a note. I was struggling with trying to give Jordan a voice through Max and it just wasn't working for me so forgive the jarring addition to a 3rd voice at this point in this story but I think it will just make more sense to hear Jordan's side from the man himself. 

Without further ado, here goes

“Chickita, we were beginning to wonder if you were ever going to show!” As if there was any doubt, the first person to greet me is Daze. She comes bounding off the stage like a Labrador puppy and throws herself at me, nearly knocking me over when she throws her arms around me. “Between you and me Duncs was about to call out the cavalry, if you know what I mean,” she adds in a stage whisper, glancing meaningfully over her shoulder at our band mate who is currently giving me that look that says  he doesn’t appreciate my not keeping in touch.

“I know, I know,” I sigh, shrugging, because I don’t have a good explanation. “I just needed to clear my head but I’m here now.” Dunc nods and goes back to taping wires to the floor of the stage. The life of the opening band, no roadies for us.

“So…what epiphany did all of this head clearing lead you to?” Daze asks, slipping her arm into mine and leading me back behind the stage. I watch Cristina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil walk by us and I pause, mid step, to watch her walk by. I’d be happy to be that famous and I know damn well a lot of the cities we’re going to go to won’t know how fucking cool she is.

“I don’t know…I don’t think I’ve come to any conclusion other than I may have totally fucked up my life by breaking up with Marc,” I sigh, following Daze into a cramped room that we’re obviously all sharing, where a black, latex cat suit is hanging on the back of the door, obviously waiting for me.

“So you two haven’t talked since? You didn’t cave and call him?” Daze asks, jumping up and sitting cross legged on the make-up table in her cut offs and black tank top. I shake my head, push my overnight bag into a corner and toss my leather jacket on top of it. “And you haven’t called Jordy either?” she asks in a totally different tone that tells me that she full expects that I would have.

“Why would I?” I grumble, struggling out of my jeans and then kicking them into the corner, followed by my sweater.

“Because you two are like madly in love with each other?” Daze gives me this impish, expectant look but I just stare back at her and because we’ve known each other forever, I don’t have to say it out loud. “Okay, well, at least he’s madly in love with you.”

“He’s not,” I reply firmly but Daze just rolls her eyes.

“I’m pretty sure he has been since he was like five,” she tells me in this ‘I’m not going to let you argue with me’ voice.

“Yeah and that’s why he dated like half of Thunder Bay,” I point out, dusting my legs with baby powder before even attempting to get into the skin tight latex cat suit.

“Because you were dating his brother?” she says, pointing out the obvious. “Because you chose his brother over him? Because you told him that he was always going to be an irresponsible party boy and that you weren’t going to wait around and watch him fuck everything that moves.” I shut my eyes against the barb that Daze digs into my ribs. I know what I said. I remember saying it too, the same night of the dance that I spent the night dancing with Marc. I remember standing under the bleachers while Marc was being high fived by all of our friends. I remember Jordan asking why, why Marc, why now? 

“And I was right, wasn’t I?” I reply quietly, even though knowing it doesn’t make it feel any better. It didn’t then. I’m not sure why it would now. 

“He’s sure cute,” I tell Johnny as he puts his brand new son in the bassinette, his hand resting on top of the warm squirmy bundle of joy.

“He should be, have you seen me?” Brent replies and waits for me to argue. I don’t. Not because I think he’s cute, after all I’ve been playing alongside Sidney fucking Crosby, listening to girls scream at him like they’re losing their minds. I don’t argue because my head is all over the place and I don’t have my usual witty banter going. “Whoa…earth to Gronk…what’s up bud?”

“I just…I have this sort of…problem.” I’m half listening to the all the women downstairs and half listening to all of the shit in my head that keeps swirling and swirling around.

“Well if it hurts when you pee, you should probably see the doc,” Brent laughs at his own joke. I don’t. If I’d wanted that kind of reaction I would have gone to Max and not the oldest guy on our team. He seems to realize it as he puts one hand on my shoulder as we both stare down at his son who is currently sucking on one of his toes. “Alright, obviously this is something heavy. Spill.”

“It’s my brother’s fiancée…well she was or…is his girlfriend…I’m not sure,” I begin, and that’s just part of what has my head spinning.

“Your little Goth girl, yeah, I think I heard something about this. So what’s going on that has you moping around like someone’s just taken your soother?” I sigh and open my mouth to begin but close it again. I don’t know where to start. Every time I go over it in my head the whole mess seems to start somewhere else. “Take it easy there Gronk…you’re not gonna cry are you?” I shake my head but I’m actually not sure. The more I think about this whole mess, or at least the more I think about how it’s really all my stupid fault, the more I think I might.

“I think I’m in love with her,” I admit finally, in this quiet voice ‘cuz I’m half afraid if I say it too loud someone will hear me. “I could start from the beginning but…I guess that’s what it really boils down to. She’s my brother’s girl…or was but…but I saw her first.”

“Oh man…that’s a fuckin’ doozy,” Brent rubs at his head and then moves around the crib so he can look at me, leaning against the wall with his arms across his big barrel of a chest. “Does she know? I mean, did you tell her and piss your brother off or something?”

“Nah, nothin’ like that,” I sigh again, shrugging my shoulders. “I mean…I think he kinda knows…maybe he’s known the whole time. I’m not sure but Kens…nah…I’m pretty sure that she still thinks of me just like she always has, just one of her big dumb brothers.” That makes Johnny smile and I can tell he wants to say something smart about it, like maybe ‘yeah you are dumb’ but I’m grateful when he doesn’t. This is fucking hard enough. “But she broke up with him…or at least she gave him the ring back and…Daze…she’s Kensey’s like…best friend in just about the entire world, she says that I should tell Kens which makes me think maybe I could be wrong about that but….” This is the hard part. Not that admitting that maybe I’ve been in love with my best friend isn’t super hard but this part…. “I don’t know. Do you think maybe she could be? I mean, that she could…y’know…like me too?” I looked at Johnny as he scratched his head and then shrugged his big shoulders.

“I don’t know man. To be honest…I’ve only seen the girl in pictures and shit. You’re the one who’s known her your whole life. What vibe are you getting off of her?” I felt crestfallen. I’d really hoped that the elder statesman of the team would have some kind of mad sage advice for me.

“I don’t know…I’m not good at picking up on that shit,” I sigh, turning my attention back to his little boy in his powder blue onesie, his thumb now stuck right in his mouth, his eyes closed, sucking away. I wish I was that innocent again.

“You Gronk? You and Max are like my fucking heroes. You’re the masters of picking up chicks. What do you mean you don’t know what vibe you get from her?” I heave a sigh and shrug my shoulders.

“Picking up chicks around the ‘Burgh is easy man. I don’t have to do anything but smile and buy them a drink. Hell, half the time not even that. Kens…man…she’s different. We’re like…we’re friends you know? I don’t know how to tell if she’d ever felt more than that. I know there’s been lots of times I wish…,” my voice trails off as Johnny’s woman slips into the room and, with a quick glance in the bassinette, slides up to her man and under his arm. I watch them kiss. The kiss says all kinds of things. It says ‘hello’ and ‘where have you been’ and ‘when are you coming back’. They look comfortable and happy and they’ve got that not having to speak and know what the other is thinking thing.

Sometimes I think I have that with Kens.

Sometimes I don’t, like now.

“So what was this I heard about Jordy picking up girls?” Mel asks, giving me that half disapproving half indulgent looks that all the Wags seem to. Or at least they do after they get to know me and don’t think I’m a total douchebag, like Max.

“Not girls,” Brent presses his lips softly to the top of her head, “just one girl.” Mel narrows her eyes at me and then shakes her head.

“Nope, can’t see it,” she says and then laughs. “I can’t see Jordy or Max being tied down. It would be like putting a wolf in a cage. It’s just cruel.”

“What if I want to be tied down?” I tell her and she rolls her dark eyes at me.

“Yeah, does this have anything to do with how you scared Trin away with all that being exclusive talk ?” she asks, tipping her head to one side and watching me in that way that women do when they get to be mothers. Like they’re measuring me or like they can see right through me.

“She was the one who didn’t want to be exclusive, not me,” I remind her quietly. Not because that particular wound still hurts. Not anymore. Not since Kens gave Marc back the ring.

“I still think it would be like cutting an eagle’s wing,” Mel shrugs and buries her face in Johnny’s chest and breathes him in like he’s some kind of scented candle.

“You didn’t say that about Tanger,” Brent reminds her and she sighs, this sort of happy, contented little sound and then turns her face up to his.

“Tanger isn’t an alley cat, like Jordy and Max are,” she tells him, like I’m not even in the room. “Like right now, how Max isn’t here, or hadn’t you noticed?” she adds with a secretive sort of grin.

“Yeah,” I mumble, realizing that I hadn’t seen him yet. “Where is Talbo?”

“At some metal concert in…Phillie I think,” Brent replies, looking down at Mel for confirmation. She nods and then looks over her shoulder at me.

“He said something about not wanting you to cock block him this time,” she adds with that wicked little smile she gets when she’s causing trouble. Sometimes I feel sorry for Johnny…sometimes.

It takes a minute, and then it’s literally like a light bulb goes on over my stupid head.

“Oh shit…Thunder Daze is playing…that fucker!” I don’t even say goodbye. I’m half way down the hall when I hear Mel call something after me like I’m going to miss dinner. I don’t even reply. It’s one of the time having that long legs seemed to be a good thing. I’m half way out the door before I even remember that I should have stopped to print out a ticket or something. 

“A hun spot. C’mon, let me in,” I grin up at the big…no, fucking huge bouncer at the door to the rear of the stage. He looks down at the bill I’m holding and then at me and then shakes his head and returns to staring straight ahead. “Two? Seriously man?” I dig in my wallet and think this guy has a really good fucking job as I pull out another two fifties and try to hand them to him.

“I’m not letting you in to see Miss Scabia,” he snarls, like he really is part grizzly bear. I stare up at him and think he reminds me a little of Boogard the Boogey Man, and I don’t really wanna mess with him but….

“You mean the Italian chick, the singer for the band that’s on now?” I ask, glancing behind me to where I can still hear the band that most of the people are here to see. “Yeah, I guess she’s cute or whatever but a bit old for me don’t you think?” I ask and then the big, bald Samoan turns his attention to me and his whole bald head wrinkles as he narrows his eyes and frowns. “Oh she’s your type. Okay, well, you know, it’s a good thing not all of us have the same taste, wouldn’t you say?” He just stares at me and then rolls his big dark eyes and goes back to staring over my head. I want to say ‘don’t you know who I am’ but I’ve gotten out of that habit being around Sid. He really hates it when one of us pulls that shit. I’m not above using it though, if I have to. I’m not there…yet. “Look I just want to see the first band. You know? The Canadian one, Thunder Daze. You know them?” I ask, hopefully, but Shrek keeps staring straight ahead. “You know, the girl drummer and that total hot babe in the black cat suit, huh?” I grin up at him and watch as just the faintest glimmer of a smile plays at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, you saw her too huh? Total fox am I right?” He doesn’t answer but he’s smiling now. “Hey man, I know them. If you tell them I’m here, they’ll total see me and I’ll introduce you man, I swear.” I cross my fingers behind my back, but it seems there’s no need. The big guy finally chuckles and pushes the door open for me. I try to give him the money again but he just laughs and shakes his head.

“If that little drummer girl kicks your ass, I’ll know you lied to me,” he snorts and then I hear the door swing closed behind me.

He might have a point there. Considering I didn’t show up to meet her at the hotel. It was for a good cause. We got Sid to the hospital just in time to see baby Gabby born. He’s been grinning like an idiot ever since, which might have something to do with his point streak….

“Fuckin’ A!” The silence in the dim hallway is broken by a sudden cascade of ‘hell yeahs’ and other sounds that remind me of our room when we win a game. I turn the corner to find the objects of my affection upending bottles of Krug Rosé. Kensey still takes my breath away, especially in that skin tight black latex body suit. There’s no doubt she’s fucking hot but as soon as I get my breath back, my attention is immediately caught by the more compact redhead, now stripped down to a black bra and cut off jeans that barely cover her ass.

My mouth goes dry. How I never saw her before, really saw her, is beyond me.

“You!” The champagne bottle pops out of her full lips and she points it at me. “You never showed!”

“In my defense, we had a mission of mercy that took precedence, otherwise wild horses could not have kept me from you,” I tell her to which she replies with a loud bark of laughter.

“Fuck me, the shit that comes out of your mouth. Do you even believe it?” she asks, shaking her head as she saunters toward me like a stealthy cat. I’m not often rendered speechless by a woman, but the sight of her, sweat glistening on the visible pale half moons of her breasts, the light catching the diamond swinging from her navel. Without another word, she slides one arm around my neck and then presses the full length of her body to mine. “Are you going to stop playing hard to get now Talbot or do I have to fuck some sense into you?”

“Uh…oui, s’il vous plaît?” is the only answer I can give. She laughs, a dirty, raunchy sexy laugh that doesn’t look like it should come out of a package as compact as hers’, and then she presses her lips over mine in a firm, take no prisoners kind of kiss. When she pulls back, her eyes are glassy but she’s grinning.

“I’m kind of drunk,” she whispers into my ear. The champagne bottle is cold on the back of my neck. I can feel the condensation from the bottle dripping down the back of my t-shirt. “But I’m not that drunk, if you know what I mean.”

“No, I’m not sure,” I begin, thinking she means that she’s not really gonna fuck me senseless and I have to admit to being more than a little disappointed. Not that I came all this way thinking that for sure I was getting lucky but….

“I mean I’m not soooo drunk that I’m gonna pass out under you,” she adds, her other hand sliding up under my t-shirt, her fingers walking up the middle of my stomach, making my entire body shudder.  “And I’m so fucking jazzed right now, I bet I outlast you,” she adds, pinching one of my nipples between her finger and thumb hard enough that it hurts, but so good.

“Great, where are you staying?” I think I should be totally ecstatic and I am, which she is makes it clear she’s pretty aware of as she grinds against my hardening dick, but I’m also kind of taken aback. I mean, I’ve had girls offer it, just like that, in clubs but…I guess I wasn’t quite prepared for this.

“Don’t worry Max,” she whispers as she nips at my lower lip with her tongue, “I don’t bite…too hard.” With a groan I let her lead me towards one of the doors, staggering behind her because all of the blood is rushing out of my head and quickly south.

“Don’t kill him Daze,” I hear Kensey laughing behind us, “or somehow that will end up my fault.”